I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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