sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
