Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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