he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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