I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
