Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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