i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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