hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
