..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
