I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
