I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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