How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
