after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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