After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
