Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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