You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
