Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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