The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
