JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
