Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
