I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
