i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
