The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
