K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
