I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
