Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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