Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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