Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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