This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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