Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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