so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You were trust falling into bushes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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