Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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