I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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