I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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