So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
