I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
