She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
