I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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