so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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