we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
