My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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