Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
