And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
