dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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