he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
