i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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