so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
