Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
