I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
