why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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