It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
