You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
