Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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